Posted in Loving My Marriage

Nag-Free Marriage – Left in the Parking Lot

Posted on by 3toddlermom

Hubby dropped me off at his truck yesterday in the back parking lot at church so I could drive it home. It’s not the most reliable truck but we make the most of it! So he takes off immediately in my beautiful van with all three kids.

Instantly I start to complain in my head. ‘He never waits for me. What if the truck doesn’t start? Does he even care?’

I was about to pull out my phone and start texting him about how important it is that he wait for me and that a true gentleman would have waited. Then I remembered my challenge. And I got myself in check. I started saying (out loud) all the things that I loved about him. “He’s such a good dad. He’s so sweet to drive the kids home. He cares so much about me.”

As I said these things out loud, my attitude started to change. I pulled around to the front of the church and there he was waiting. Waiting to make sure the truck started. Waiting to make sure he could follow me home.

I’m so glad I didn’t stay mad for long!

Posted in Loving My Marriage

Nag-Free Marriage Challenge

Posted on by 3toddlermom

New Month. New Challenge!

I brought in my hubby for help with this one.

Me: “Hey babe – what should my March challenge be?”

Hubby: “How about not nag your husband for a month?”

Whoa!! Hold up! Has your husband ever blatantly told you to stop nagging him? Kinda hurts a little. So my first response was to ask how I’ve been nagging.

Long story short:

He changed his morning routine. He used to get up after I had already worked out and then he’d come down and sit on the couch with me, we’d drink coffee, possibly talk or read our Bibles and then he’d go to work. Well, he was swamped at work and had been going in before I was awake. Besides that, we had a couple busy weeks where we weren’t spending alone time at night either. So I was feeling like I emotionally needed him.

I had simply asked him if he planned to continue going into work early because if so I needed to emotionally prep myself for it. I felt like the way I presented it was simple and in a form that would start a discussion. His response was basically that he had a lot of work and needed to go in early. Well, the next two days he went back to the old routine of going into work later. I asked him if he was sleeping in again because of me. I didn’t get much response but then I asked what my March challenge should be and out came the truth.

He had taken my question about the change in his morning routine being permanent or not as a nagging attack. Basically, he heard me say “You better sit with me in the mornings and have coffee because I’m an emotionally, needy woman.” Ok – maybe the needy part is a stretch!

But it made me realize that many times, we think we’ve communicated our thoughts clearly. We understood what we meant and that’s all that matters, right? Not really. If my hubby takes it as a nag, even though it was only intended to be an innocent question to start a conversation, then I need to change the way I’m communicating.

I don’t know if I’ve told you yet, but I want a really awesome marriage! When my husband asked my dad for permission to marry me, my dad’s only question was “What are your thoughts on divorce?”

Hubby’s response: “Not an option.”

And this is how we’ve been doing our marriage. Divorce isn’t an option that I consider when he doesn’t behave the way I think he should. It’s not a threat that we hold over each other when we fight. Neither of us live in fear that the other one will walk out the door. Because we’ve chosen to make a covenant with each other, before God.

And we are realizing that marriage takes work. It’s not all sunshine and roses. It’s a lot of farts and morning breath. It’s laced with bad attitudes and miscommunication. But I wouldn’t want it any other way. We’re in this life together and we’ve decided to figure it out no matter what. We also realize we will be figuring this thing out til we die so rather than striving for a perfect, conflict-free marriage, we’re chasing an adventurous, problem-solving one! It’s pretty exciting to think I get to work at figuring out how to communicate with and love this handsome, hunk of a man for the next 50 plus years, morning breath and all.

So if he feels like I’m nagging, then I’m going to figure out how to communicate my needs in a way that he receives.

I looked up the word nag and it’s pretty severe:
annoy or irritate (a person) with persistent fault-finding or continuous urging

Yikes! Persistent fault-finding and continuous urging…..sound like any marriages you know? Isn’t it crazy that we fall in love with our spouse and think the fact that they leave their dirty socks on the couch is so cute when we’re not the one doing the laundry. And then we get married and it’s the end of the world. “How dare they leave their socks on my couch? What do they think I am, their maid?” Or is it only me that thinks that way?

I want to stop picking out all of Hubby’s flaws and rather focus on his fabulous qualities. The sad part is, he already knows most of his flaws. He beats himself up about them all day. The last thing he needs is to come home to a wife who joins in the verbal abuse. Far be it from me to be that wife!

So here’s the Nag-Free Marriage Challenge:

  • List 3 amazing qualities about Hubby anytime I’m tempted to complain to him or behind his back.

I did this once and it was amazing! Hubby went to bed early while all 3 kids were still awake. No reason. He was tired. So he went to sleep. Well, I dread bedtime. Least favorite time of day. And now I’m alone doing bedtime! While he snores. Grrrr. I was getting myself all worked up. Taking it out on the kids. Being short with them and all sorts of grumpy. I was imagining calling my sister immediately after the kids were in bed and telling her all about how awful my husband is and how dare he do this to me.

Then an amazing thing happened. I intentionally started telling the kids how amazing their daddy is. I told them how he works so hard at his job every day so they can have food and a warm house. I told them how he loves them so much. I told them how he is the silliest daddy in the whole world. I started praying for him out loud. That God would give him everything he needs to fulfill his purpose. That he would have strength and courage and health.

Let me tell you what. I was not feeling all the things I was saying. Until I kept saying them. And all of the sudden my whole mindset changed. I no longer had any desire to call my sister and tell her about the horrible man I married. I no longer was short with the kids. I was no longer fuming about how inconsiderate my husband was. I starting feeling all warm and fuzzy. Wow. I married an amazing man. How lucky am I? It literally changed the entire night for me.

  • Spend alone time (date time) with Hubby at least 1 hour a week

Date night is more important than I realize! I’m going to be intentional about carving out AT LEAST an hour a week to spend alone with Hubby. Whether it’s a quick cup of coffee in the morning, or a stop down to visit him at his office, or dinner and a movie. I’m going to be intentional. Spending alone time will help me to realize the endearing qualities in him AND will fill the emotional need I have for quality time. Win – win!

I’m all kinds of excited about this challenge (and I’m sure Hubby is too!)

Wife Challenge Accepted

Posted in Scripture Memory

5 Psalms to Read When You Need Guidance

Posted on by 3toddlermom

Guidance. When I need guidance….. oh you mean EVERY. SINGLE. MOMENT. Of my entire life!?

Where do I send my 5 year old to kindergarten? How do I potty train my toddler? How do I get through dinner with no temper tantrums?!? Not to mention getting someone to help me with the dishes. How do I get my husband to tell me about his day? And then ask about my day!

Well, I found myself a guide through this mom life. His name is Jesus and He’s pretty amazing. Have you met Him? He sent His spirit (the Bible refers to Him as the Holy Spirit) to live with me and you so He could guide us through this life. EVERY. SINGLE. MOMENT.

The cool thing about a guide is that they’ve been there, done that. They climbed the mountain. They walked on the trail before it was a trail. They mapped out all the cool things to see, all the traumatic things to avoid, and will take you on a really fun adventure.  That is, if you follow them.

My husband is from Michigan so we vacationed with his siblings and parents in the UP (Upper Peninsula) a couple years ago.  We found some cool sights like Lake Superior, a delicious Mexican restaurant, and an amazing bear rescue/educational facility where we got to feed bears and see them up close and personal.  It was an incredible vacation.  You know why we had such great experiences?  We had a guide.  My sister-in-laws had been there, done that.  They knew where to go to have amazing experiences and what wear and whether or not to pack lunch.  So we just listened to them and followed their lead.

We also got ourselves lost while on this trip.  You know why?  We decided we could figure it out on our own and stopped following our guide.  Only, it turns out, our cell phones don’t get great reception in the UP and we realized we had no clue where we were, no one seemed to be driving by, no towns for miles, and no GPS!  Well the good news is, we eventually figured out how to get back to our cabin but not without a lot of stress, some tears, and some heated emotions.

The moral of the story?  Life is better with a guide.  You’ll experience the cool parts of your journey and find hidden gems that you probably wouldn’t have simply stumbled upon on your own.

These verses in the Psalms have helped me remember to depend on my guide, the Holy Spirit, to show me where to turn, when to stop and enjoy the view, and when to steer clear of a dangerous or stressful situation.

Alright.  Time to start filling out registration forms for kindergarten.

Posted in Scripture Memory

Failure Is Not Fatal, Unless I Quit

Posted on by 3toddlermom

Failure is not fatal! Such good news after the week I’ve had with my current Scripture Memory Challenge. I’ve been failing BIG TIME! It was going so well for the first 15 days! And then I hit a wall. One failed day led to another and to another and to another. Have you ever opened your Bible and been like…..blahhhhhh?! It’s a terrible feeling but it happened to me several times last week. I don’t blame God. He’s always ready to talk to me. I don’t blame the Bible. It’s always got the same amazing content. Must have been just one of those days for me. Or I guess several of those days!

So have I failed? I think I’ve memorized 18 scriptures in the past 25 days, which is 18 more than I memorized in January. 🙂 But I still am 6 scriptures short of fulfilling my February Mom Challenge. I guess it was called a “challenge” for a reason. It’s not supposed to be easy!

I definitely won’t call myself a failure. Have I kept up with the challenge? No. Should I throw in the towel because I missed a couple days? Heck, no! I’m doing these monthly challenges to stretch myself and failing every once in a while is expected. Getting back up and pushing forward is what a challenge is all about. I’m only a failure if I quit. So I’ll keep working on memorizing scripture every day for these last few days of February.

Failure is only fatal if I quit. So I’m pushing on to complete the last 3 days of this challenge! This failure will not be fatal!

Have you been doing this challenge with me? How’s it going?

Posted in Budget

February Budget Challenge Day 24 – $157.56 Over Budget

Posted on by 3toddlermom

I’ve heard the saying “Fail Forward.” The premise is basically that if we don’t fail, we don’t learn! So rather than looking at failure as an end we need to view it as a stepping stone in our journey of life. (I’m pep talking myself here! Ha!)

Perfectionism runs thick in my blood from me, to my mother, to her mother. We all wish we could just do everything right (and perfectly) the first time. To give you an example; I was devastated when I got an A- in high school because it completely destroyed my 4.0 GPA. My mom even went in to talk to the teacher about how I could raise my grade only to find out that the teacher thought I was one of the best writers in her class. I just wasn’t perfect so I didn’t deserve an A. Grrrr! I promise I’m over it now…….it’s only been about 17 years since that class. I can move on. I just really want to be perfect.

But I guess the sad reality is that none of us are perfect. If I think about it, it’s actually more relieving than sad. If no one is perfect, then it totally takes the pressure off of me to be perfect! We’re all just in this life together trying to figure it out best we can. Life really isn’t a competition. It’s a community. So I’m going to try to let go of my quest to be perfect, and accept the fact that I never will be. And neither will you. And that’s ok! We’re in this together.

Ok, so I can use my failure this month as a learning launching pad for the future. My goal was to stay under $300 this month. I actually did it last month, with $20 to spare! But for some reason this month just didn’t happen.

So let’s see what else I’ve spent. On Friday, I got groceries. I stuck to my list and found some great deals at Hyvee. I try to avoid shopping there if I can because I want to buy everything!! So I started at Aldi and got most of my list but grabbed some $.77 pork chops and raw shrimp for $3.99. Amazing deals! I ended up spending $62.99 at Aldi and another $15.75 at Hyvee.

Grocery Total for February: $279.23 compared to $159.72 in January.

Cute thing: my kids helped me meal plan this week! They wanted to make homemade pizzas so we bought some mini naan bread from Aldi and topped it with our favorite pizza toppings and voila! Delicious, personal pan pizzas in minutes.

Our meal plan this week:

Personal Naan Pizzas

Broccoli and Cheese Quiche

Pork Chops and Sweet Potatoes

Garlic Butter Shrimp and Pasta

Yum! I’m excited for a week without beef recipes. We have a quarter cow in the deep freeze so I’ve been trying to meal plan using that so I don’t completely overextend my budget but when I saw the pork chops and shrimp on sale this week I couldn’t resist!

Today I needed gas AGAIN! So another $45.07 out the window. I’m super grateful to have an amazing van to drive so I’m grateful that I get to fill it with gas. It just adds up! $117.72 so far in gas this month compared to about $21 last month. (I guess my cheating last month caught up to me!) And honestly, Hubby filled my tank once this month so I probably spend about $150 a month on gas.

I’m going to keep trying to use this “failure” to propel myself forward and keep my budget lower next month.

Posted in Mom Life

Wake Up to Success in 4 Easy Steps

Posted on by 3toddlermom

I would never have considered myself a morning person. Nor a night owl. I’m good going to bed early and sleeping in late! Ha! But now that Sweet Love is over a year old and I’m finally sleeping through the night again (Praise Jesus!!) I’m finding that I am becoming a morning person.

Crazy as it is to say this, I LOVE getting up before the sun! Mainly because it means I have time alone. No kids. No noise. No phone. No rush. No dishes. No laundry. No sweeping. Just me and my glass of water, my Youtube workout, and my Bible.

I’ve worked out off and on all my life and have never gotten crazy over-weight but after Sweet Love was born I was up to the highest weight I had ever been at. I gained weight with each pregnancy and never really lost it all after having each baby. Which is probably typical, but dangerous because it only makes it harder to lose later. Anyway, I decided I had to do something about this weight gain. Especially because we plan to have at least one more kid and I can’t just keep putting on another 10 lbs each time we have a kid!

So I started eating less. Not necessarily a ton healthier, just less. And I started working out. It was slow at first. I just did a quick post-pregnancy DVD whenever I had time. (I wore loose fitting yoga pants all day anyway…might as well just work out!) But I started to get addicted to it. And now I work out for 20-30 minutes or do a 10-15 minute stretch every morning.

Back to the topic at hand – Waking Up to Success in 4 Easy Steps! I’ve read those blogs like 10 Things Every Mother Should Do Before 10:00 and 20 Things You’re Not Doing That You Should Be Before Your Kids Wake Up. While these tips are amazing, they usually just stress me out and make me feel like a horrible person! UGH! So I thought, let’s make it simple for people. 4 Steps is way easier than 10, right?!

So here they are:

  1. Wake Up At the Same Time Every Day  – This advice has always been hard for me to accept. I want a day off! Please let me sleep in! But I’m finding that if I get up at 5:30 consistently, without hitting the snooze button, I feel so much better come Monday morning. It’s not a struggle every week to get back into the routine. Plus, I’ve come to cherish my alone time in the mornings so much that getting up early is more exciting than it is drudgery.
  2. Drink a Full Glass of Water  –But I NEED my coffee!! Sure, I love coffee too and drink a couple mugs full before my kids wake up. But I always fill up a glass of water first. It helps re-hydrate me after going 7-8 hours without water and it motivates me to drink more water throughout the day.
  3. Work Out/Stretch  – I had always heard of those fairy tale women that worked out first thing in the morning and thought, that is them. This is me! But since I started doing it, I have absolutely loved it. I typically do MWF workout for 20-30 minutes. It’s really not that long but it has had a BIG impact on my waistline and energy level. Then Tuesday/Thursday and weekends I do a quick 10-15 minute stretch. It helps wake me up without having to think too hard.
  4. Spend Time with God –This is the most important part of my morning routine. I have a sweet devotional that I got from my father-in-law for Christmas that I do every morning. I’ve been reading through the Old Testament since last summer and have been loving having a plan for my reading. I’m not going fast by any means. I started last summer and I’m about half way through. Man, the Bible is so full of amazing stories and wisdom. If you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it.

If these 4 steps are overwhelming, start with ONE. This 4 step morning has taken me about a year to fully implement and I still don’t do it perfectly every morning. Sometimes Hubby and I stay up past 11:00 and I typically hit snooze a couple times the next day. Sometimes, Princess decides she wants to be wide awake at 6:00 am and Bible reading becomes a bit more difficult! I give myself all kinds of grace and you should give yourself grace too. 🙂 Look at this as a list of ways to make life easier rather than just another list of things to add to your already hectic schedule.

So raise your water glass as we toast to an amazing morning, leading to a fabulous day, setting the course for an outstanding life. Cheers!

Posted in Recipes

Nana’s Ever Tender Pot Roast

Posted on by 3toddlermom

Marrying my husband was a sweet deal! Getting his mom as a mother-in-law, made the deal that much sweeter. She’s a lovely woman of God and has taken me in like a daughter. In a world where so many women don’t get along with their mother-in-laws, I’m so grateful to have the healthy relationship that we do.


Besides having a giant, generous heart, she also makes the most amazing roast I’ve ever tasted.

Growing up, I requested roast beef every year for my birthday. And it was yummy! But my mother-in-law makes it like nothing I’ve ever tasted before. It is, no joke, tender every single time she makes it. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It melts in my mouth and I typically eat so much that they have to roll me away from the dinner table. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

So are you ready for her secrets? If you like beef, you’re going to love this recipe!

Secret #1 Always use CHUCK ROAST. She typically gets hers at Sam’s Club. She’s tried different roasts from our freezer and they never turn out the same. Stick with a chuck roast.

Secret #2  Season and sear the meat before baking. It’s a simple step that locks in all the flavor and makes a huge difference in the end result. Searing is just the simple process of browning either side of the roast on the stove top. I usually do it in the same pot I use to put it in the oven.

Secret #3  Don’t skimp on the beef bouillon. I don’t know the science of it but the more bouillon, the more flavorful and tender. Yumm!

Ok, here’s the recipe.

Nana’s Ever Tender Pot Roast

Prep Time: 30 minCook Time: 3-4 hoursTotal Time: 3.5 – 4.5 hours

Ingredients:

  • 5lb Chuck Roast
  • 4 cups water
  • 6-8 beef bouillon cubes
  • 5-6 medium russet potatoes
  • 1lb bag baby carrots
  • beef seasonings (I use onion powder, garlic powder, Montreal Steak seasoning and salt and pepper)

Put It Together:

  1. Thaw roast. (I’ve tried this without thawing and it just doesn’t turn out as tender. It’s worth it to let a frozen roast thaw in the fridge a couple nights ahead of time.)
  2. Pre-heat oven to 350.
  3. Season, tenderize and sear roast. I sprinkle my seasoning all over one side, pound it with my meat tenderizer and then flip it and repeat. Then I put it in an 8 qt pot on the stove top and sear both sides.
  4. Add 1 cup water and 6-8 bouillon cubes.
  5. Cover with lid or tin foil and put in oven.
  6. Let cook for 2 hours. Peel and chop potatoes into chunks while roast is baking.
  7. Add potatoes and carrots to pot along with another 3 cups of water. Sometimes I’ll season my potatoes and carrots with salt and pepper at this point. Put lid back on and place back in the oven.
  8. Cook for another 1 – 1.5 hours allowing the roast, potatoes and carrots to become tender. Don’t be afraid to leave it in a little longer until the meat is tender.
  9. You’ll know it’s done when that beautiful hunk of meat tears apart effortlessly with a fork. Taste testing at this point is an absolute must. 🙂
  10. Serve with the remaining beef juice poured over top. My mother-in-law loves adding butter to her potatoes too. Yum!

Let me know how your roast turns out!

Posted in Budget

February Budget Challenge Day 21 – $33.75 Over Budget

Posted on by 3toddlermom

I splurged today! Okay Okay….I know. I’m out of money so how dare I splurge?!? Do you ever feel like – I already failed, might as well fail big time?! Ha! No, I’m totally trying not to have that attitude.

Anyway, since I missed my goal I had to make a new one! I’m attempting to keep our credit card bill under $1000 this month. Some bills get charged to the card. Hubby uses it for non-business related things. So $1000 budget is a pretty low amount for us right now. Last month when I only charged $280 to the card, our bill was still close to $800. Which is AMAZING for us!

So back to my splurge. My friend babysat Sweet Love for me this morning while I recorded a video at church. And I wanted to bless her back, plus I had a free coffee on my punch card! So I swung through our amazing local coffee shop to grab us some drinks. Her’s was literally only $3 and mine was free but I decided to get a couple muffins too! So total spent = $8. Not bad. I know I shouldn’t do it every day or even every week but I think the splurge was worth it today! 🙂

I also ran to Aldi Tuesday morning, mainly for diapers which are crazy inexpensive at Aldi!! Have you used them yet?! I’d HIGHLY recommend them. I bought 100 size 3 diapers for $10.99. That’s unheard of!

I ended up spending $23.76 on this trip. I went in with a list and stuck to it. Boom! I’m learning!!

BUT I was terrible at meal planning this week! Fortunately, it didn’t cause me to over spend. Yay! But I literally wrote TACOS and SLOPPY JOES on my meal plan calendar. That’s it! We had plenty of food for left overs yesterday. Wednesday is typically our left over day because the kids have “Grandma Day,” I volunteer in our church’s youth group and Hubby works late.

Now the dilemma…..what to make for dinner tonight and tomorrow?! Anyone up for left overs two nights in a row!? Haha!

7 days to go. $33.75 over budget.

Posted in Budget

February Budget Challenge Day 17 – I overspent!

Posted on by 3toddlermom

Well folks, with 11 days to go, I’m already $1.99 over budget for the month.

Not worth crying over. I still plan to stay focused and keep my spending as low as possible for the rest of the month.

How did I spend my whole budget in 17 days?

  • GAS In January, I only spent $21 on gas total. Hubby filled my tank most of the time and I chose not to count it towards my budget goal. This month I have already spent $72.65. So that hurt my budget.
  • GROCERIES In January, I had a huge stock pile of food in my pantry, freezer and fridge. I used most of it up. So that made grocery shopping a bit more expensive this month. Plus I’ve been trying to have more fresh veggies and that seems expensive. Mainly because I buy them and use them up within a week. When I buy a box of rice or noodles I make them last a couple weeks. Not so with fresh veggies and fruits. It’s all just a learning experience! I’ve already spent $172.47 on groceries this month compared to only $159.72 total for the month of January.

So what am I learning?

  • BE AWARE OF MY SPENDING I now save all my receipts and put a note in my phone’s calendar every time I spend money. Before this challenge, I had no clue how much I was spending. $10 here….$20 there and it didn’t seem like a big deal. Until the end of the month and Hubby would be upset about our giant credit card bill. And I’d realize that stopping at Chick Fil A once a week and getting a coffee at the local drive-thru a couple times a week were adding up quick.
  • RUNNING ERRANDS ISN’T A DAILY NECESSITY I used to think I always needed to “run errands.” Turns out it was more just a reason to go spend money on things I didn’t necessarily need. Or I’d go get something I need along with 5 things I didn’t need. So now I’m more intentional with my errands. I’m either going to the grocery store with a specific list or ordering items online so that I don’t overspend at the store.

This budget challenge honestly does feel a little bit restrictive and I have urges every once in a while to just go to Target and blow $100 for fun! But I’m trying to keep the end goal in mind. I’m learning self-control and to better analyze my financial decisions so it’s definitely worth it…..right?!

It has actually been a big help to our marriage as well. Hubby doesn’t get upset if there aren’t certain groceries in the kitchen any more because he knows how intentional I’m being about cutting back on my spending. And it gives him something to be proud of me for which makes me feel amazing as a wife! Plus, he’s the only one who has an income in our house so I think it shows him I respect the money he’s making and I’m not frivolous with how I spend it.

So I’m going to continue keeping track of my spending this month and try to keep it under control.

Posted in Scripture Memory

Scripture Memory Challenge Day 19 – Psalm 101:3

Posted on by 3toddlermom

Wow! How often do I do this?!

I let my decisions be swayed by what I think other people think about me. It’s insane -worthless!

I let trendy things and expressions guide me – worthless!

I let my emotions, fears and impatience guide me – worthless!

Man….I need to be more aware of what/who I’m allowing to guide me. The more aware I am that the Holy Spirit is with me all the time, the more I’ll rely on His guiding rather than everything around me (or my emotions inside me).